Embrace The Chaos

How do we face mind bothering issues that eats us up and tends to take a greater part of our thoughts? Everything within us begins to revolve around it, thus becoming hard to focus. This could be made worse when the Brain and Heart do not align on the same issue resulting into a conflict of emotions against logic. It is said that tough times don’t last only tough people do. Here, emphasis is always placed on persistence and determination but when the problem stems from within, it becomes an intricate issue. How do you handle such without giving in? Do you attempt to banish such thoughts forcefully? Do you avoid such thoughts with the hope that soonest it will be off your mind? Or succumb to let it infiltrate and play tricks on you? None of these would prove a lasting remedy as it will only grow to become a scar that would torment you.

Dealing with such intricate issues best requires allowing it to stay and roam for a short while, feel evey pain it emanates and laugh at it anyway. This could sound carzy, Yeah it does but it is one of the subtle and effective remedies for thorny mind issues. They are like demons you can’t run away from but that which you rather face and embrace while unearthing the humour within. The truth is most situations have an hidden humour that serves as the effectual remedy to what ever issue that preys on your mind. It only requires that you turn lemon into lemonades the problem might not totally die off, but instead it becomes fun and easy to live with as it could provoke the softest laughter which helps put the mind at ease.

Life is best lived and issues better dealt with, when you do not take yourself too serious and also find a way of laughing through beset problems. Peace of mind is not achieved by cowardly avoiding or running away from problems, but through a genuine sense of humour the effect is neutralised while the pain uncounciously erodes off our mind.

A wise man once said how you do anything you do everything. To embrace the chaos, you need laughter to adapt, adjust and overcome.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

We human beings are the most awesome creatures on earth, higher animals with more developed features. We have over the years manipulated our environment to suit our needs and desires. But inherent in every human creature are strengths and weaknesses.

Each one of us was created, designed and programmed with unique features, consisting of strength and weakness. The natural tendency for us humans is to exhibit strength and conceal weakness which is considered ideal. Our strengths, if fully exploited is to act as a leverage through life’s journey. A critical look at this, I believe should be the other way round. As mentioned earlier it’s expected that we always put our strong foot forward. But with the daily complexity of our human environment, I think it’s best our weakness be open before all while we conceal our strengths. Desire for public appraisal  is one of the reasons people appear  flawless, but little do they know that they become vulnerable  to self damaging criticism. What makes a person exceptional, is not the strength rather their weakness recycled into strength.learning to turn your weakness into strengths through criticisms is one of the most sophisticated tools for victory over life’s stormy battles.

A biblical example is the case of David against Goliath. Goliath not aware of what the fragile and young David had, felt he was superior. David did acknowledged his physical weakness and it would have been wrong for him to attempt to stand toe to toe with the giant. Instead, he used his instincts to device a strategic approach and in no time the giant was down. Same principle applies to us, we feel that with the little power we have accumulated we are superior not knowing what reality has in store. We tend to pride ourselves based on self-acclaimed strengths which could detrimental.

Let’s look at it this way.Life would always continue to be about survival( not in terms of extinction) but in our relationships with people. Detractors are bound to surface on our journey through life, who as a result of jealousy or envy try all means to pull us down and turn us against our self. It will be easier for them to penetrate us, play on our  conscience and mess with our head, which could result into loss of our life’s plot. when our near perfect attributes have been punctured, we deflate and shrink in shame and self-pity.

So  what is expected or ideal? I would say it’s  for us to camouflage strength as weakness and weakness as strength. People will criticise what they think they know about you, while indirectly they are helping you. When you receive such criticisms it’s now left to you to refine what is said and make adjustments if necessary. If you are particularly keen on developing yourself, then this is an important key. Like the Chinese adage which says ‘ crouching tiger hidden dragon’ meaning hiding your strength from others.  Man’s greatest defeat isn’t as a result of his weakness but his self acclaimed strength.

Human weakness is part of nature’s gift to us, which we are expected to either get rid of or metamorphosise into strengths and this cannot be done alone we need people through critisms to help us.  It’s your duty, not the public to appreciate, praise and nurture your gifts while using them to serve your environment. The moment someone is able to define you, then you need to watch it. Remain mysterious, let people keep fanning your flame while you use the heat to refine yourself into becoming a better individual. Critsicms are good, ( constructive & otherwise),if you take them as compliments.

A Needed spice

Ambition is priceless it involves a lot of sacrifice, self denial and pain. A whole lot of things will be foregone in pursuit of desired goals.

A common pre-conception however in the academic circle is that books and the opposite sex ( a relationship)  ain’t compatible. It is widely believed to be an unnecessary distraction as we are expected to face our studies squarely first while the latter can follow. But the fact that we humans are social animals and will always be attracted to the opposite sex becomes a curious case and how we decide to manage it rests entirely upon us.

As stated earlier overly ambitious individuals see the opposite sex as more of distractions and are quick to cast aside thoughts of establishing a relationship while they relentlessly pursue their dreams. They are firm with the belief that everything has it’s time and the time for any for any form of relationship should be at a latter age close to mid life having achieved set goals.

But my curiosity, is that ambitious and intelligent individuals often tend to attract the opposite sex most times while striving for excellence but the ‘distraction mentality ‘ discards any chance of establishing a relationship. Truly it may seem ideal, but what is the essence of it all, after years of rigour, pain, hard work, denial, and sacrifice to achieve your dreams, and out of curiosity, panic, and inexperience settle down with a wrong life partner because of the limited time to fully explore each other before commitment. It would be a disaster wouldn’t it?? And you will have to live with it for the rest of your life. So what were your long years of toil for if at the end you do not find someone worthy to share your success with.

Just a few days back I was joking with a friend that I needed a girlfriend and his response was ‘don’t let girls lead you astray, u still have a lot to learn and a long way to go’ I laughed and thought about it, and looking deeply I felt it won’t be bad to cultivate a  healthy relationship even while striving for excellence. Having someone who could provide that extra motivation, someone whose flaws and deficiencies you are used to, and to create beautiful moments and memories together.

As delicate as this may seem, quater life crises would sometimes get you torn in between to choose now or later. Both involve risks and they appear to be of same weight only time exposes which is worth going for. Ideally I would suggest having someone around rather than looking forward to an uncertain and mysterious future where you might have to live the rest of your life in marital pain and agony.

But in all, you should be careful not to force yourself into where you do not fit or where you are not wanted. It must be mutual because that is where the essence and beauty of it all emanates.

Tenacity of purpose

One of the freeiest things on earth which every human mind has an infinite capability to do is to conceive  ideas and make plans. Human natural creativity allows every individual to ruminate within and birth a program of action which is geared towards achieving a particular goal, be it academics, business, relationships etc..

The motivation and inspiration behind such creative and dazzling ideas often times evaporate without trace just at the conception of the idea. We expect, that the inspiration behind the idea should see us through the execution phase but more often than not,we find out that the road upto the junction of the idea conception unto the execution are not of the same altitude. A step up is required which most times seems beyond our self known capabilities. We ideally  know what it takes but our inherent frailties engulfs our beliefs and it creates numerous doubts and fears in our minds.

The bitter truth, that we  individuals shy away from is that at the cradle of the execution phase, the fears, doubts, and every feeling of inadequacy are normal most especially when attempting something for the very first time. All what those feelings serve to create is a reminder that our present internal make up needs to be refined and polished to live up to to the execution of the goal and create something exceptional.

This is the point where most of us give into defeat and think it is not going to work out.The fears and doubts poses to us an un-surmountable mountain and we flee before it like a wind blown sand. Change requires shedding in terms of our belief system, personality character and our perception of the goal. It will for most part of it not make sense to us, to the extent that the only available and attractive option will be to give up on it. But the moment when giving up seems to be our last resort, then we need to reflect on what led to the idea, the pros and cons of letting it go, and viewing on both long and short run what we stand to loose or gain.

Tapping into, and Harnessing the unknown, coupled with Mental stubbornness and ruggedness with an unrelenting effort will see you through. If it needs to get bad before it comes good be it. Trust your guts and commit yourself to the process never be worried about how it is going to happen. Be tough on it, and when setbacks and dissappointments hit you PUSH ( persists until something happens) harder. Dare to suffer through the pain, sacrifice, self doubts and friction from the world. When things don’t happen right away, remember that it takes 6 months to build a Rolls Royce, and 13 hours to build a Toyota.

And lastly, remember that an arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards. When difficulties drag you back, it means it is going to launch you into something great.so focus and hold on because there is no traffic after the extra mile.

The Future

Have ever wished your life came with a manual,or a compact disk was attached to your body at birth outlining how your life would be.  Such a life in your present state would appear most ideal all you need do is to follow and achieve your desires.

This thought most times comes when you are faced with complex realities of the future, when you begin to feel more responsible for yourself than ever before. You realise that dependency on your parents Is no longer ideal, you want to know what the future holds for you, and you are open to all sorts of ideas just to try and figure things out

The truth is that life is an adventure, a game of trial and error, lots of error till success beckons. Life gives to you what you give to it. But it requires at best mental and behavioral toughness. Uncertainty about the future, is one of the most acute cause of vices among youths, filled with immoral ideas regardless of what it cost them.

Journeying to the ideal future, requires creating a mental picture of how you want your future to be. Imagine yourself living the ideal life you want, environment, people etc. This mental picture should then give you at present, steps to elevate to such a life. For example you have a picture of people looking upto you as a mentor, or an inspirational individual then you highlight what it would take to get to such an height. This requires shedding off some or all of your old and obsolete behaviours and attitudes,   because they can never be adequate to support your dreams. Pick up new ideas, develop mental tenacity and self Discipline. Assume new and challenging responsibilities that pushes you to your limits. Nurture greatness from within, resist the paths of least resistance, and it’s fruits will carry you through obstacles you encounter.

An adventurous life, is an experienced filled life. Every legend today started out as amateurs. Believe in the Beauty of your dreams and apply yourself adequately because if you are persistent you will get it, and if you are consistent you will keep it. The best way to predict the future is to create it. Your present situation is not a determinant, rather it is part of the journey. Find yourself, apply yourself and you will realise there is nothing to fear.

God created you for something special your story might defy logic and reason and be a breakthrough for what the world is yet to experience. Once you become fearless life becomes limitless. The same boiling water that softens the potato hardens the egg life is about what you are made of,not the circumstances. Your future is yours to create therefore walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain though your dreams be tossed and blown walk on with hope in your heart and the reality will be bigger than your dreams.

Fantasy of Academic Laziness

Education, more like a way of life to an average individual from your early years, you are enrolled in an institution where you find mates like you, seated in a classroom being tutored. Years go by, it’s values begin to unravel towards you. That’s your first real test of competition in life, you are graded according to your performance but as a child it really makes no sense to you. Towards the later years of your primary school it begins to weigh on you, either you want to be with the best or go with the normal flow of just obeying your parents and meeting with friends at school.

Very excited to get into high school, you are faced with more complex realities. You this time owe yourself more; maturity of some sort, but you could still have not found your rhythm . You feel average and unconcerned. Fun is all what occupies your mind, you feel so inferior around excellent students and overwhelmed with the mentality that you can never be like them.

The reality in truth is that primary and high school could be very tricky. There are a whole lot of people who were super students in their younger days, but have along the line declined academically. Yeah! there are various reasons and the most prominent is giving into distractions. There are those who get the wake-up call at a stage in their lives and soar higher than they could ever imagine.

Education is a two-edged sword you are either with the best or the rest. Much need not be said about what it takes to be an excellent student, the rest are those who have given into defeat, they feel helpless and in their college days they are the ardent apostles of the saying ‘not everyone will work with his/ her certificate’. Very true indeed, and they are sophisticated with examples likes Bill Gates, Steve Jobs etc and personalities far from their realities as hopes for their lacklustre attitude towards their academics. Academics although is not a true measure of intelligence, but what is the ratio of drop-out success to those who have relentlessly pursued the career of their dreams?

I foresee an educational darwinisim period, where the world will be a survival of the fittest intellectually, and those who do not fit in would have to settle for a lower strata in the society. Every from of knowledge and invention will always be documented for intellectual consumption.

In all, I am not speaking against having a know-how in vocational skills but as much as you have the opportunity of sound education I encourage you to make the best of it,and be the best you can be. There are a whole lot of people who finished with high grades in college and take up technical professions outside their majors. It allows for greater flexibility and adaptability to the society and more rewarding than clinging to the hopes of learning a trade which will require more positive attitude for success than the education you neglected.

And lastly, outside your school system educate your mind. Watch movies and learn. when something sparks your interest read about it. Study and learn stimulate your brain don’t just rely on the school system. Educate that beautiful mind of yours,  and remember ‘the best don’t always start at the top’…

Define your success

Every individual desires success. It’s peak Is often envisioned as when dreams and goals have been achieved, when you live life on your terms (at most realistic) and when you are not subject to your external environment but rather having created the life you want. Genuine success is unique and it manifests quantitatively and qualitatively based on personal characteristics refined by years of growth and self Discipline

In reality there are no secrets to success. The so called secrets are nothing but illusions created to cast doubts on your unique traits which the Divine creator has deposited in you. What is required is to harness and align your inner gifts with the physical environment with a grease of tenacious self – discipline to turn your dreams into reality.

Success is a journey not a destination. This only serves to remind you, of the fact that the intense obsession  with a futuristic period when you can consider your self a success overrides your present capabilities to achieve something great. Success is like a quarry it evolves with timeless unrelenting efforts. It’s a painstaking art, even which a mistake could unravel something hitherto unplanned for.

The Big question then is; is failure really a part of success? YE it is, not an opposite but an essential part.It depends on how you react to it, and the greatest lesson is learning who you are and how strongly you rise from the battle. Failure for those who are ready to learn is taking a step backwards In order to take two steps forward.

Everything  You are going through is preparing you for what you asked for. Celebrate every triumph of yours no matter how little. This is how you appreciate success regardless of your present state or position. Take pride in your actions, success has it’s components and a very important aspect of success is self-apprecation. Appreciate yourself even when no one else does. You this way grow more with self-belief and confidence to Explore, Exceed, and Break bounds. Your flaws are what makes you and your achievements unique.

Success is a state of mind not a state of life. Don’t follow the society’s definition of success, let your success be defined by your standards and don’t expect people to understand your hard work when God did not give them your vision. Define your success live your life!!

 

The Art of Self Knowledge

Brought out from an oval like spa, from the first moment of conception you greeted the world with a cry the first air drawn from earth, an harsh environment from your previous niche, which provided you effortlessly with all of your needs and suited your delicate and tender body.

Actions and thoughts of great men have shaped human history, tilted overtime to meet the needs, aspirations and fears of men. It sometimes clouds the latent human gifts and talents.

Human society is enormously bounded by dogmas and conventions guiding human behaviour. Deviation from such Is considered as an act of treason. Myopic societal views passed down from generations, have today become obsolete and inadequate for geniuses to evolve. Life has been painted as a cycle through which we are expected to pass through. We are brainwashed to believing that adherence to such would guarantee us the life we so desire. If true, why do we have individuals, young curious minds, stuck on themselves having adhered strictly to societal norms??? Though some have applied these rules and are probably living the life they think they ought to live, imposing same on their children and not yielding desired results.

So many latent individual talents, lie unexplored having been entangled in the intricate Web of societal beliefs.change marks progress, today’s youths find it very difficult to unearth their talent(s) solely because their thought pattern and actions are being restricted by societal dogmas and beliefs.

All I am driving at is the required art of self knowledge and self mastery , prerequisite for personal growth and development. It enables you to pay more attention to yourself, using your strengths  and weaknesses rather than societal unilateral view of things. Life is to be lived for fulfillment and not for societal praise or recognition. Self knowledge helps to break open hidden treasures and values embedded in an individual. It helps you to live life on your own terms and not as the average society wants.

Self mastery and knowledge basically requires knowing your strength and weakness, work on your strength like it’s your weakness and your weakness like it’s your strength. From there you know your limit as an individual and boundaries you need to explore, through which you get a clearer perspective of what you want to achieve out of life. Draw out your own personal principles, this makes you unique and different from the rest. Live according to your principles and your life is yours.

Finally, don’t listen to what other people say ( not in absolute terms), follow the beat of your own drum.Allowiing for the input of other people will only bring cacophony to the music you are trying to make. Break your self free from societal chains. If all those geniuses listened to their peers we would probably still be living in the middle ages. Live life according to your own light and stand out!!!